Editorials

I used to be a newspaper reporter until I breathed in some pink fungus.I got really sick,and had to have a lung transplant.Unfortunatly,I received cow lungs,so I can't talk.No one will hire me.I was wondering if I could become a Fakenooz reporter.I can mail in reports for you to publish.Sincerly Samantha Cooper.


Dear Samantha,
Certainly we will hire you.For each report you send in we will give you 5 whole cents!!!!!!!!!!!
Yours Truely,Veronica

I like your noozpaper but,you might want to put more interesting facts in it.For example,we(my family)founda skull that is567,487,223 years old,you could put the headline,567,487,223 year old skull found.Because what you write gets boring after awhile.Thanks!Maybe you could call people or have them call you to get ideas,I might LOVE your noozpaper instead of liking it.Thanks again.Jim


Dear Jim,
Sorry you don't like our noozpaper as much as you should.I like your idea to get more ideas by calling
people or having them call you.It's pretty amazing that you found that skull,we'll put it in the noozpaper.Thanks for the ideas.
Cindy

I love your show,I watch it everyday.I found pink fungus growing under my toes.What do I do?
I tried calling the poison contol center but this lady hung up.You are my only hope.From Agatha Crup.


Dear Agatha Crup,
I'm sorry to hear about your problem.My solution is: take a pot of warm water,put in lots of salt,and bathe your feet in it.I am so pleased to know that you watch our show everyday.It really is a great show isn't it?Please keep watching our show.Sincerly,Penny